The break-up conversation happened once and for all. And it was fine, really it was. He was a little more bummed out than I thought he would be, but I think he'll be ok.
And just to be clear: I'm ok with someone having been married before and having a past, really I am. But when they're blatantly not ready to move on and you feel like you're moving further apart instead of closer together after dating for six months, it's time to cut the cord. We can blame it on timing, and hey, maybe he's just not the guy for me.
But he said some pretty strange things during the break-up conversation. I have to share.
Him: "Not being divorced is really not a big deal. It's just a piece of paper. "
Me: "I don't know, for me it would just be a big fat loose end that I would want to tie up, especially if I didn't think we would ever get back together, and if I cared about someone else."
Him: "Well what about your not becoming a U.S. citizen. That's a loose end that you're not taking care of."
Me: "How on earth does that affect my relationships with other people? I have a green card, I have a job, I pay taxes. This is my home, and that's pretty damn clear to anyone who knows me. I really don't think you can compare my resident alien status to being legally bound to another person!"
Him: "Well you could get deported!"
Me: "Well, yes, if I committed a crime, I might be deported and sent back to South Africa, but again, anyone who knows me...
Eureka! This is my problem! If my lack of citizenship is my biggest dating liability, sign me up! Brush me up on my U.S. history and get me to my swearing-in ceremony! Who knew that I had to commit to the United States before a man can commit to me?
My roommate and I laughed long and hard about THAT one.